BIBLICAL PUT-DOWNS

In an earlier post (“Taunt Songs: Isaiah 14; Ezekiel 28; and Job 38-39”), I discussed some of the longer poetic compositions in the Bible designed to make fun of someone. Now I would like to broaden the scope of that inquiry to include some selected shorter insults. But two general comments before I begin this short, and by no means complete, survey:

In teaching adult Sunday school classes for years I have found that there are many Christians who are consitutionally unable to grasp the concept of figurative language, especially as it occurs in the Bible. And since many of the following insults appear in non-literal and ironical contexts, they do not quite know how to handle them.

Just as troublesome for others is the whole concept of insults and sarcastic language being found in the Bible, especially on the lips of God, Jesus, a prophet, or an apostle. But the fact is, it does occur at times, and I for one am not about to question any of the above persons about the propriety of their language.

With that said, here is a basically quick survey of a few of the insults in the Bible in roughly the order in which they appear:

Genesis 4:23-24 – One of the very early patriarchs in the Bible is Lamech, who basically brags to his wives that he is seven times meaner than his ancestors. (boast) One form of insult is to brag that you are better than someone else. And Carr explains, “Placed where it is and including v. 24, it now functions to demonstrate a major consequence of the expansion of civilization: a corresponding expansion of the violence with which the family tree began.”

Genesis 11 – The account of the building of the tower of Babel demonstrates the very subtle way in which the narrator indicates how puny the aspirations of mankind are compared to God's majesty. This is first indicated when God “comes down” to see what they are doing. This comment is not meant to cast doubt on God's omnipresence. Instead it is a piece of irony demonstrating that the tiny edifice they are building to heaven is so infinitely far from from God's domain that He has to travel way down to earth even to glimpse it. Next is a tongue-in-cheek comment by God in v. 6 which, if taken literally, could be wrongly interpreted to imply that He was actually concerned that these human beings might actually storm heaven with their activities. (subtle irony)

Numbers 22 – Sometimes the criticism of a biblical character is seen only in the way events transpire rather than in any specific words to that effect which are spoken by the narrator or one of the other persons in the story. Such is the case in the way the money-grubbing “prophet” Balaam is constantly outwitted by God in this chapter. (situational comedy)

Judges 9 – Jothan utilizes a rare form of put-down for the Bible in insulting the mainly self-appointed leader of the people, Ahimelech. Jothan stands well out of harm's way and tells the people a funny story about the trees trying to elect a king, a job that none of the mighty trees want to tackle. Only a lowly bramble bush wants the job, and so he is chosen by default despite his obvious lack of qualifications. (fable)

I Samuel 21:10-15 – While David is on the run from Saul, he seeks refuge first with King Achish of Gath. But the king is warned by others that David might not be trustworthy. David sees that he is in potential danger and so he feigns madness. I love the king's comment to his servants at that point: “Do I lack madmen, that you have brought this fellow to play the madman in my presence?” (rhetorical question)

I Samuel 25 – David is all set to kill landowner Nabal for refusing to give his troops supplies in return for guarding his livestock. But Nabal's wife, Abigail, steps in and tells David not to bother with Nabal since his name (meaning “fool”) well describes his character. We might question her loyalty to her husband in using that insult, but her obvious intent was to save his life. (pun)

I Kings 2:22 – When Adonijah asks newly crowned Solomon for the hand of Abishag in marriage, the sarcastic reply is, “Why don't you just ask for the whole kingdom while you are at it?” (rhetorical question)

I Kings 18 – During the great contest on Mt. Carmel between Elijah and the priests of Baal, these priests call upon their god to light the fire on their altar but, of course, nothing happens no matter how hard they plead with Baal. Elijah taunts them by “helpfully” suggesting that perhaps they should yell louder since maybe Baal is gone on a journey, is asleep, or on the toilet. (sarcasm)

Isaiah 28:10-13 – This appears to be a great motto for how we should conduct an inductive Bible study and build up our understanding of the truth “step by step, line by line, precept by precept.” However, there are two basic problems in using the passage in this manner. First, it is not at all clear how to translate the Hebrew. The original sounds like this: “sav lasav sav lasav, kav lakav kav lakav.” which actually makes no sense as it stands. That is why footnotes in the Jerusalem Bible and the NIV Study Bible state that the words were probably never meant to be translated at all. Those who do attempt to translate the words admit that it is not that obvious what the words mean and any translation is largely guesswork. Probably these singsong words are the equivalent of saying, “blah, blah, blah,” “la-di-dah” or “twiddle-dee-dee.” In any case, the traditional translation has largely fallen out of favor today.

The second problem is that it is not clear who is speaking these words. It is probably the drunken false teachers making fun of Isaiah's teaching or speech defect or speaking in tongues by turning it into nonsense words, babbling baby talk, a sort of nursery rhyme. On the other hand this verse may be Isaiah himself making fun of the drunken teachers' ramblings. In this latter case, two commentators have pointed out that the consonants in this verse happen to be the initial letters in the Hebrew words for excrement and vomit; Isaiah is saying that is all the drunken leaders are capable of producing. (parody)

Isaiah 44: 9-17 – In this extended vindictive against the makers of idols, Isaiah unleashes his fury against idolaters by exposing the ridiculous picture of them making the images with their own sweat and industry from trees that they have cut down. They take part of the wood to heat their homes and cook their fire, but the other part goes into manufacturing their gods and bowing down to them. (reductio ad absurdum argument)

Jeremiah 18:18 – The prophet's enemies are determined to make an end of him. They reason that Jeremiah is really opposed to the truth that his presence will certainly not be missed and “instruction shall not perish from the priest, nor counsel from the wise, nor the word from the prophet.” As L.C. Allen puts it, “Ironically, Jeremiah is demonized, from the the community's warped perspective, as the enemy of not only priestly Torah but also prophetic revelation and sapiential instruction...” (ironic slander)

Amos 4:1 – The greedy women of Samaria are characterized contemptuously by Amos as “you cows of Bashan.” (metaphor)

The Book of Jonah – Although God appears to be quite patient with the recalcitrant prophet, the whole book is designed to make fun of those rabidly nationalistic Jews who would delight in the destruction of all outside the boundaries of Israel. Jonah doesn't have to have anyone else insult him since he is condemned by his own actions throughout these chapters. (satire)

For those who think that the use of various forms of sarcasm is beneath Christians, there are plentiful examples in the New Testament which prove otherwise:

Matthew 23 – Jesus employs it especially in passages such as this chapter in which he characterizes the religious leaders of the time as “blind guides who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel” and “whitened sepulchres.” (metaphor and hyperbole)

Hyperbole also is utilized in passages such as Luke 20:47 and parallels where Jesus warns against the scribes who “devour widows' houses.” And in Matthew 23:15 Jesus accuses the scribes and Pharisees of “traveling over land and sea to make one convert and them make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.”

Jude 8-13 – Jesus' half-brother Jude continues in the same vein by characterizing enemies of the Gospel imaginatively as “dreamers, blemishes on your love feasts, waterless clouds, autumn trees without fruit, wild waves of the sea, and wandering stars.” (metaphors)

John 7:3-5 – And before the conversion of Jesus' brothers, they sarcastically suggest to Him that he “go to Judea so that our disciples may also see what you are doing...show yourself to the world.” And for those who are tempted to take their advice at face value as well meant, the narrator adds the following comment: “For not even his brothers believed in him.” (sarcasm)

Some of the examples of criticism in Acts are quite straightforward such as Peter's direct comments to Simon the Magician in 8:21-22 (“May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain God's gift with money”) and to Ananias in Acts 5 (Why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the proceeds of the land?”).

However, others may not be quite as obvious. For example, in Acts 17:18, the philosophers on Mars Hill mildly dismiss Paul as what is usually translated as a “babbler.” But the literal meaning of the Greek word is “seed-picker.” It refers to a species of bird which goes around feeding on any seeds it finds on the ground and then goes around dispersing those seeds out its other end. That is how they are really characterizing Paul and his teachings. (metaphor)

Paul himself indulges in various types of put-downs. Some are so subtle that they are easily missed. For example, when he is trying to explain himself before the Jewish Sanhedrin and he has just begun to talk, the high priest orders someone nearby to strike him on the mouth, violating all Jewish law. Paul responds by calling the priest “a whitewashed wall.” At this point, someone points out to him that he has just criticized the high priest. Paul seems to back-pedal and abjectly apologizes by saying “I did not realize he was the high priest.” In fact, Paul is really saying, “How in the world should I think that someone who disobeyed the law so grossly would have been the high priest, of all people?” (subtle sarcasm)

In Paul's writings, he and his antagonists continue to trade insults, employing different techniques, as seen in the following examples:

Those would-be leaders at Corinth disparage Paul by saying, “His letters are weighty and strong, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible.” In other words, they can't find anything in his writing to criticize so they pick on his personal appearance instead. (ad hominem argument)

The Book of Galatians finds Paul trading his kid gloves in for boxing gloves. He starts out mildly enough in 2:6 in responding to the charge that he has picked up all he knows from the “real” apostles in Jerusalem, by referring to those church leaders as follows: “And from those who were supposed to be acknowledged leaders (what they actually were makes no difference to me; God shows no partiality) – those leaders contributed nothing to me.” (mild put-down)

But Paul totally loses his patience when the subject turns to the Judaizers within the church who are teaching that Gentiles must be circumcised in order to join. His comment regarding those people is basically, “If they are so knife-happy, why don't they just go all the way and castrate themselves!”

Acts 19:13-16 – Lastly, there is the very humorous, at least in my mind, episode of the seven sons of Sceva passing themselves off as Jewish exorcists. They think that they can co-opt the power of the names of Paul and Jesus in their profession but instead run into a possessed man whose spirits reply, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?” At that point, the man with the evil spirit leaps on all of them, beats them up, and they flee leaving their clothes behind.

To me this is a very funny episode, but my wife calls it “typical male humor.” Let's just agree to label it slapstick humor and let it go at that.