BUBBLY, BOTTLES, AND THE BIBLE

This is one rare example in which two of my pet hobbies happen to come together. I am not talking about wine drinking, but about antique bottle collecting and Bible study. The reason they are at least tangentially related is that the larger bottles used to contain wine, especially champagne, happen to be named after kings found in the Bible. Presumably, the general idea is that these quantities were more fit for a king than an ordinary person. 

Jeroboam (3 L): 20 glasses of wine

 It is not known why biblical kings were chosen; however, it is believed that the Jeroboam was the first name to be chosen. So perhaps the rest of the names just later followed suit. Jeroboam I was an apt choice since he was the first king of Israel, the northern kingdom, after rebelling against Rehoboam.

But there were actually two kings with this name. Jeroboam II was the fourth, and one of Israel's most illustrious, kings in the view of Hubbard and others. He seems to be even a better candidate for this bottle's name since the prophet Amos inveighs against the luxury of his court's lifestyle in 5:21-23 including a criticism of those “who drink wine in bowls.”

 Rehoboam (4.5 L): 30 glasses

Appropriately, this size was named after the last king presiding over the united kingdom. He became king of Judah, the southern kingdom, after Rehoboam's defection.

Methuselah (6 L): 40 glasses

Of course, this name refers to the oldest man who ever lived (969 years according to Genesis 5). In this context, wine experts agree that these larger wine bottles are much more efficient in retaining the quality of their contents over long periods of time than the smaller bottles are.

Salmanazar (9 L): 60 glasses

At this point, we temporarily abandon the Jewish kings in favor of some prominent rulers of foreign lands. This name, generally transliterated as Shalmaneser, applied to several rulers of Assyria mentioned in the historical books of the Old Testament.

Balthazar (12 L): 80 glasses

There is some confusion regarding the appropriate spelling of this sized wine bottle. One the one hand, some call it Balthazar, the legendary name of one of the three wise men from the east, often represented as kings rather than astrologers, who presented gifts to the young Jesus. This name was obviously the reason that Melchior was chosen for an even larger bottle (see below).

This size is also alternatively called the Belshazzar, denoting the co-regent of Babylon during the absence of Nabonidus, who had seized control after several brief reigns following Nebuchadnezzar. (The next larger bottle is named after this more famous king.)

Belshazzar is even a more appropriate name for a wine bottle since this last king of Babylon was well known for his feast in which the handwriting on the wall spelled out his coming fate at the hands of the Medes under Darius. The most infamous thing about this feast was that Belshazzar had the sacred drinking vessels (those taken from the Jewish temple when Nebuchadnezzar sacked it) brought in to the feast so that his guests could drink wine out of them (Daniel 5:2-4,23). This was one of the precipitating factors causing the defeat of the Babylonian Empire and the death of Belshazzar.

Nebuchadnezzar (15 L): 100 glasses

Appropriately, the honor of place for this giant bottle is given to this Babylonian king who destroyed Jerusalem and led off many of its inhabitants into slavery. He is quite prominently featured in the Book of Daniel, and this prophet impressed him so much that Daniel was given a high position in the Empire. It even appears from Daniel 4:37, etc. that Nebuchadnezzar was at least partly converted to a belief in Yahweh.

Melchior (18 L): 120 glasses

Again we have the traditional name for another of the Three Wise Men. Melchior's gift to the Christ child was said to have been gold, the most precious of the three traditional gifts – one fit for a king.

Solomon (20 L): 130 glasses

We now come to perhaps the greatest king of the Jewish people since he greatly expanded the territory he inherited from his father David and completed many important construction projects during his reign. Unfortunately, he fell from grace at the end of his term due to his love of many foreign women who brought with them their idolatrous customs and beliefs.

Was too great a love of wine also one of the problems which led to a diminution of his vaunted wisdom? We will never know, but in that regard, Ecclesiastes (traditionally written by Solomon) states: “Behold, what I have seen to be good and to be fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment.” (5:18) and “Bread is made for laughter, and wine gladdens life, and money answers everything.” (10:19).

Goliath (27 L): 180 glasses

It is quite obvious why this giant's name was chosen. Even a colossal man such as this Philistine could not have finished off this bottle without being felled. And it also reminds us that many of these super-large containers were so difficult for glassblowers to make that the original cost of the bottle itself often exceeded the value of its contents.

Melchizedek (30 L) : 200 glasses

This was the mysterious King of Salem (probably referring to Jerusalem), one of the earliest monarch to be named in the Bible and also said to be a priest of “God Most High” (Genesis 14:18ff). After a key battle, Abram honored him with a tithe. The author of Hebrews later made a great deal over this simple fact in chapters 5-7 to demonstrate that Jesus is our heavenly priest forever. Appropriately, in the Genesis passage, Melchizedek honors Abram with wine.

There are even a few isolated examples of larger sizes manufactured mainly for publicity purposes for certain wineries in attempts to lay claim to the biggest wine bottles ever made. That honor, according to the Guinness World Record book, is held by a Swiss firm. It contains 3,094 liters of wine, the equivalent of 4,725 bottles.

How one could ever pour out of such giant containers is a good question. As far as I know, no attempts have been made to assign a biblical name to these behemoths.