DOES THE SONG OF SONGS TEACH SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?

I was asked the following question: In introducing this book The Daily Bible notes “And while the song dispels notions of celibacy and asceticism (self-denial) as an ideal, it does not presume sexual relations outside a marriage relationship.” But is this true?

The traditional view of this book is that it demonstrates the norm of sexual relationships between a man and woman occurring only after their marriage. The problem with this view is that the Song cannot really be read as a chronological account of a couple courting, marrying, and their happy life afterward.

If one reads the poems in the Song in this manner, then two major problems arise.

    (a) A chronological ordering of the book leads to a situation where sexual union between the Lover and his Beloved, described poetically in Chapter 4, appears to occur before the actual marriage, as recognized by Lloyd Carr ("Song of Songs" in A Complete Literary Guide to the Bible, pp. 293-294).

    (b) A chronological reading results in a plot that simply goes nowhere. As several commentators have noted, the lovers do not seem to grow any closer as the book progresses. Actually, they appear to be living apart at the end of the book. Does this mean they got divorced?

Two approaches to this quandary can be taken, the most common being to treat the Song as a loose collection of love poems with no overall plot holding them together. A better approach, in my mind, is to first determine the literary structure of the book (my version shown below) and then see what it says.

The Structure of the Song of Songs

A. Title (1:1)

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I. The Lovers Dwell Apart (1:2-7)

II. A Make-Believe House for the Lovers (1:8-2:7)

III. He Invites Her to Come Away (2:8-17)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                                      IV. Dream--Seek and Find (3:1-5)

                                                V. Solomon's Litter Described for the Daughters of Jerusalem (3:6-11)

VI. The Lovers in a Garden of Delight (4:1-5:1a)

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B. Benediction on the Lovers (5:1b)

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IV'. Nightmare--Seek and Not Find (5:2-8)

                                                V'. The Hero Described for the Daughters of Jerusalem (5:9-16)

VI'. The Lovers in a Garden of Delight (6:1-10)

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III'. She Invites Him to Come Away (6:11-7:13)

II'. A Make-Believe House for the Lovers (8:1-4)

I'. The Lovers Dwell Apart (8:5-14)

Reading this modified chiastic structure starting from the outside and working toward the center, one reaches the following scenario:

I and I': The lovers dwell apart and yearn to be together.

            II and II': She fantasizes about their living together and never having to separate.

            III and III': They invite each other to come away, but stop short of actually doing so                                                 (extended descriptions of her).

IV and IV': She experiences dreams of wish fulfillment and separation anxiety regarding her                                    lover.

            V and V': An impending marriage (extended descriptions of him).

            VI and VI': Marriage and consummation (extended descriptions of her).

            Center: Benediction on the couple

The blessing in 5:1b (“Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love”) has caused endless trouble for those who cast the Song in the form of a play. Who is actually speaking these lines? Every character in the book has been proposed from the couple's male or female friends (as in the NIV) to the couple themselves. It is, however, agreed that this “is a climatic point in the Song: love has been mutually offered and accepted.” (C. Hassell Bullock, An Introduction to the Old Testament Poetic Books, pp. 230-231)

R. W. Orr's assessment that the speaker in 5:1b is God Himself is to be preferred: “Any good girl has a deep emotional need of her father's approval before giving herself unreservedly to her husband. Our Heavenly Father does this for us in The Song.” (“Song of Songs” in The International Commentary, pp. 710-713) God's benediction may thus serve not only to bless a specific couple but also bestow divine approval on the whole concept of physical love in the context of monogamous marriage.