CHOOSING THE APOSTLES

Memo from the Newsletter of the Hillview Baptist Church, Baldwinville, NY

To: Jesus, Son of Joseph, Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop, Nazareth

From: Jordan management Consultants, Jerusalem

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting a resume for each of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also conducted personal interviews with each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are enclosed, and you will want to study each of them carefully. As part of our service and for your guidance, we give some general comments as a result of our staff consultations, which comes with no additional fee.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have the team concept. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper.

Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership.

The two brothers James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interests above company loyalty.

Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale.

Both James the son of Alphaeus and Thaddeus definitely have radical leanings and have registered high scores on the manic-depressive scale. 

We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, and has contacts in high places. He is highly ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your comptroller and right hand man.

 All of the other profiles are self explanatory. We wish you every success in your new venture.